A heartbreak and a possibility

It has been a minute since I last wrote. I have had a rather shit week, and I am now ready to write about it. I won’t go into too much detail because it is still painful for me and I am processing. Aside from the pain, there is a possibility in the future that is bringing my spirit to a more positive space.

My favorite picture of our kitty who recently passed, Mr Man

On Saturday last week, September 26th, we had to put one of our cars down. Mr Man was about four years old and one of the sweetest kitties we’ve ever had. Also the most talkative, attention seeking, loving, affectionate, and absolute pain in the ass that we’ve ever had the pleasure of having in our family. Long story short, he had an obstruction and we could not afford the surgery. He was in a great deal of pain and there was no guarantee the surgery would work completely or that he would survive. I was, and am, heartbroken. The veterinarian was so kind to me and to our little Mr Man. Completely non-judgemental that we couldn’t afford surgery, and he lost his composure and cried with me. It was as beautiful of an experience as it could have been. My husband and I are grateful that Mr Man isn’t suffering anymore.

It was quite a jarring and tough experience losing him. It all happened so quickly…he started getting sick on Thursday last week, and then on Saturday he was gone. There were many factors that made all of it extra difficult, but I won’t go into all of that now.

The veterinarian’s office gave us a little memory box for our little Mr Man. An impression of his paw print in clay with his name stamped in it, a bit of his fur in a small plastic bag, and a package of Forget Me Not seeds. Within the next couple of days they sent us a beautiful sympathy card. They were so kind to us, and I will be forever grateful to them.

I realize this is an example of the impermanence of life. Life happens, and with it death occurs. The veterinarian told me that I will encounter Mr Man’s spirit again in the future – he was sure of it. I believe him.


We have another kitty in our house, named simply Cat. She misses her brother, and has become more talkative and clingy in his absence. We have had Cat longer than Mr Man, and she’s a wonderful soul as well. Mr Man was essentially the polar opposite of Cat, but they got along well. He paid a lot of attention to her as well…he had so much love to give. She is coping in her way. She is seeking a lot of attention and is being her always sweet self. I don’t know what I would do without her.


Yesterday we happened upon some potential good news. While it is very soon after the passing of Mr, this opportunity would be a good thing for our family. I also believe it is the Universe telling us something important. This is not a for certain sort of a thing, but it just might happen.

Yesterday evening my husband texted me saying that there is a kitty he found out about that needs a home. She is a Maine Coons mix and orange, and about three to four years old (same age as Me Man). The funny thing about that combination is that my husband wants a Maine Coon and I pictured having an orange cat in the future. It seems like the Universe is talking to us. A co-worker of my husband’s informed him last night that the kitty needs a new home. He texted me and told me right away. We agreed that taking in this kitty would be good for our family. He then told his coworker that we would love to take in the cat.

In the house we live in now, even in the finished basement, we have a way to introduce kitties to each other in the proper manner. We have a separate bedroom, and have the ability to introduce them slowly. It seems like the pieces are falling in place, and Cat could use another companion to love.

I also found out that Maine Coon cats are quite talkative, attention seeking, affectionate, and laid back…just like Mr Man was.

Again, this isn’t a for certain thing. I’ve of course already gotten my hopes up, because that is how I am.

One thing that I see as a potential road block is I am going on my week-long trip to California to see my mom and family, in exactly one week. I would hope that they could hold onto the kitty until after I come home, but we don’t know if they are able to. It’s a moving situation where the new house has a dog that doesn’t like cats. We don’t know when they are moving. My husband will be working while I’m gone, of course. I have faith in him that he will be able to take care of both of the cats while I’m gone. I also know that while he is home he will properly supervise them if they are together.

So this might happen. We will see, and as of now I have my fingers crossed.


Aside from all of the rollercoaster of emotions and heart wrenching experiences, life is going ok. I realized that most of this week I was accidentally taking half of my Prozac dose, and I remedied that yesterday. So, that should help.

In an effort to feel better, my husband and I have been making improvements around our living space. We are happy with the results so far, but still have a good amount of stuff we need to accomplish. It feels so empty here at home without Me Man. He was such a huge part of our everyday life. Making our house less familiar is really helping.

I decided to start working with polymer clay. I’m not very good at it yet, but I’m learning a lot. I am considering starting to sell some of my polymer clay items in my Etsy shop one day…when I become much better at it, of course. I’m finding that I really enjoy working with the clay, it is very therapeutic. I am going to probably move away from resin crafts after I am finished with a bunch of holiday gift coasters – I have a ton of those to make. Luckily I have a couple of sets made already that I’m planning to gift. Resin art has been fun, but also stressful. I get so nervous working with resin that I feel exhausted when I finish a pour. Working with clay relaxes me, which is a very nice change from the resin.

So that has essentially been my week. Hope you all are doing well.

Much love,

~kiti

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