I have my first meeting with my psychiatrist tomorrow morning, over Zoom. I have a good gut feeling about it, and my gut hardly ever leads me in the wrong direction. I haven’t seen a medication manager for a while now, and I am in need of guidance. Overall I am looking forward to meeting with him.
I met with my therapist this morning. It was good to have an appointment with her the day before my first appointment with my psychiatrist. My therapist and I went over the main topics I want to discuss with him. We were able to narrow it down to a few major talking points instead of what seemed like a million talking points in the beginning. I feel good about the things we came up with. My therapist has been very helpful with determining these points with me, and I’m super grateful to her.
We narrowed my main points down to a few things…
1. I’m going to make it clear that I would like a diagnosis. Not necessarily immediately, but I would like one. I want it to not change, as well, because I’m 30 freakin years old and I’d like to settle on what to call what it is I’m suffering from.
My therapist is certain I have C-PTSD, or Complex PTSD. It isn’t an official DSM diagnosis, but in many opinions it really should be. Complex trauma can cause a ton of different symptoms that can mimic those of other disorders. It is truly interesting stuff to learn about. I trust my therapist completely.
I want my trauma to be acknowledged in my diagnosis. I have in fact never been diagnosed with PTSD even though I have detailed my trauma history to many different doctors. I would like my trauma to be reflected in my diagnosis, somewhere, even if it isn’t the primary diagnosis.
2. I’ll then list the symptoms I experience regularly, and see what he thinks about them. Anxiety, panic, paranoia, hallucinations, depression, hypomania, dissociation, are the main ones. I don’t know how much time I will have with my new doc at our first meeting…an hour? That’s the usual amount of time for intake appointments, I think.
3. I want to then talk with him about my possible plans of going back to work one day. I’m sure he will ask about it when I tell him I’m on disability. I’ll let him know my possible plans, but also be very clear that it needs to be on my terms. If I get pressured or pushed around this, I tend to freak out and my condition deteriorates from the sheer panic. It’s a delicate situation that might or might not end up happening. Only time will tell.
Overall I feel well prepared. I feel on top of my shit. Now let’s just hope that it goes in a good direction tomorrow.
Hope you all have a good one.