Sometimes, it’s the simple days I love the most – slow days where not too much is accomplished, naps are taken, and relaxation is a thing. Today is one such day.
Today is my husband’s day off. He’ll work his double shift tomorrow, and then he won’t get another day off until next Thursday. He is covering for a vacation, so he won’t get his usual Tuesday off. That’s definitely a bummer, but it will be ok. This is how his summer schedule tends to be, and the winter is a much more regular Monday through Friday type of thing. I am glad for my time with him today, and glad for the slow, easy day. We busied ourselves with some plant care for a while. We needed to transplant some clones and three other root bound plants. I love getting my hands in nutrient rich soil. He took some photos of our very tall, pre-flowering plants while I started on planting the clones in their first actual individual pots of soil. Soon we were planting together and made short work of it. We marveled at the long and thick root systems on many of the clones as we pulled them from their tray. It felt therapeutic to spend time with him doing that.
Once we were done, I washed up and laid down for a nap on our cozy couch. I tried some meditation, as I normally do to try and fall asleep. This time, instead of paying full attention to my breathing, I made sure to relax my muscles and breath evenly. I then did some self-talk on the in breath and out breath, to help keep me in that moment. I find myself thinking of the future and past far too much, so it’s a nice change of pace to be in the present. I was inspired by Jackie’s blog post this morning that had to do with the Buddhist wisdom of staying present. I would like to be more in the present moment. As someone with PTSD, it is my experience to time travel to the past and future most of the time. My every waking moment feels like I’m sucked into thinking about times that are not right now. The result of being in the moment was awesome. I felt calmer, even grateful for the moment I was having. The comfort of my soft blanket on my skin, the gentle support of the couch underneath me, and the pillow cradling my head and neck at the proper angle. My eyes were closed, I was breathing, I was engaging in positive self-talk. Life was perfect the way it was right then.
We are supposed to get a little bit of thunderstorms soon. I love thunder. For some reason it both calms and excites me to hear the rolling and crashing of the clouds, and the bright flashes of lightening. I won’t be hoop dancing or fan flowing in the storm, but perhaps it will clear up a little later on.
I’m feeling relieved at finding a psychiatrist. I sincerely hope they work out for me. My therapist said she will help me prepare for my first meeting with my new doctor. I’m feeling optimistic, and I feel fortunate that the provider change happened so quickly.
As for today, stress is lower. I’m thankful for that. Depression is coming down on me. This kind of thing happens after being acutely stressed and anxious. I’m doing what I can to take care of things around my house and to take care of me.
Hope you all have a great day.
Stay insane, friends