I began my day in a strangely great mood, despite not having any coffee until a little later in the morning. I didn’t sleep great, but I slept in a little later than is typical. I woke with a bit of mental energy – a nice break from the last several sluggish mornings. I was honestly worried this good mood was going to pass, but it hasn’t so far. I did some walking and checked my phone for messages, emails, and other notifications. I was thrilled to see I sold another piece on Etsy, a repeat buyer who is an amazing friend of mine. I am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life supporting me in my crafting. This helped brighten the sunny day up even more.
I started the coffee and did a couple of chores while the pot was brewing. Once I finished those little morning tasks, I poured some coffee for myself and my husband. I placed the coffee on his nightstand and gently shook him awake – as per our normal morning routine when he works later. I’m pretty much always awake before him. We hung out together for a while before he got out of bed.
The rest of the morning and early afternoon passed rather quickly. Before I felt like it was time, my husband needed to leave for work. He will be off at 10:00 tonight, and I’m glad he’s only there for eight hours today. I’ll be glad to see him later on, if I stay up that late again.
Once he left I got to work in my shop. I made a custom box for a coaster set, because my larger hot pink bubble mailers aren’t large enough. It was simple enough to create, and the small box ended up being the perfect size. I went to work printing labels, getting the items wrapped up, then attaching the labels to the packages, and finally putting the items inside. I then arranged a USPS pick-up for Monday. As I was packaging up my three orders, my phone notified me that I had made another sale. I checked to see who it was, and I am excited to announce that I’ve now officially sold to a complete stranger. I instantly smiled.
There are a few more things I need to accomplish today. I need to do a couple more chores, some flow arts (maybe a little later when it’s not 90 degrees outside), and some dancing. I need to get caught up on my belly dance classes, since I signed up after the first two had happened. I’m super tired, so I may need to do the more physical activities in bite sized chunks.
When I dance, I’ll dance like no one is watching. I’ll shake and jiggle, my hip scarf will jingle, and I’ll get in touch with my body. Even though I still believe there are secret cameras lining the thick trees in my backyard, I’ve decided they’ll get a silly show. A show of someone learning to dance, a show of a beginner learning to love their body. I’ll dance my heart out, attempt to keep in time with the beat, remember my posture, and try to reproduce the movements and steps.
“Dance like no one is watching” – a beautiful statement made by someone I love dearly. I’m always worried that someone is watching, I always think and believe it. Paranoia. It bubbles up through the cracks in the surface. It’s always there, preparing to strike fear into my mind. The fear that radiates down to my chest, causing my heart to thump heavy and loud. It grips me, but I let it go this time even if it won’t let me go.
I think I’ll always be convinced and concerned that I’m being watched. For now, I don’t care. I’m going to do what I want, and what I want is to dance.
Stay insane, friends