I don’t have much to report today, so this will be a shorter post.
I started my belly dancing journey today, and it was so much fun. Before I go further, I’d like to point out that I’m not very good at it so far. It’s a challenge to move my body in those different ways than I am used to, and to move with the music, and do specific movements, rather than doing whatever the hell I feel like (like I do in hoop dancing). Even though I basically sucked today, it was very fun. I’m sure I had that concentration face on a lot of the time. It’s nice to be a beginner at something; and in my opinion, it’s good for the soul. The opportunity to learn something new is usually very exciting for me and I enjoy it. I feel like I’ve been learning a lot of new things lately, and I’m going to continue doing so for the foreseeable future. I feel pretty good about that.
Dance has not come super easy to me, especially when it comes to following choreography and keeping time with the beat of the music. In short, dancing is hard for me. There’s always the whole thinking I look ridiculous thing, and the old insecurities about my body in general. Unlocking new movement in my body has proven to be healing for me and cathartic. Picking up my hoop last year was the beginning of new physical movement for me. I am excited about my new journey into belly dancing, and I believe it will help me in other areas of my life as well – posture, hoop dancing, veil fan dancing, dancing in general, more attention to my physical body, etc. There’s a lot of positives that can come from learning to dance.
I still have yet to hear from my nurse practitioner’s office about a new medication provider. I didn’t really expect anything by the end of this week, but I am hoping within the next couple of weeks they will be able to get me an appointment with another provider. I’m nervous about seeing someone new. There’s always the chance that the new person won’t work out, that I’ll be stuck in the same situation I am in now. I’m trying to be hopeful and optimistic about all of this. I’m attempting to believe that they will be able to find me someone soon, and that particular someone is going to work out for the long term. Even though I am trying to be optimistic, the anxiety about the whole situation creeps in – which is totally normal, and I need to remind myself that it’s totally normal to feel anxious about this. I am super grateful to everyone who is supporting me through this challenge, and has my back. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without those individuals. I’m very, very lucky.
It’s almost 7:00 in the evening, and I still have several things I need to accomplish today. None of what I need to do still is very difficult or anything, so that’s good. I’ll just need to get myself up and doing things little by little. I still have a lot of time before my husband arrives home from work. Today was his double shift, so he started work at 7:00 in the morning and is going to be off by 10:00 tonight. A little over three hours to go. I’ll see him for a little while tomorrow morning, and a bit into the afternoon, before he goes to work again tomorrow. It will be nice to hang out with him tomorrow morning.
Stay insane, friends