Good morning all. Hope everyone is having a good day.
I went to bed early last night. I just couldn’t handle being awake any longer. Exhaustion overtook me, and depression overwhelmed me – the madness of depression came out to play. I stared at the hoop I want to buy online, to try and boost my mood and have something to look forward to, and I decided on the colors. I’ll get a 28″ outer diameter hoop, with six sections, each section is a color of the rainbow – to show off my queerness and also because I just adore the rainbow. I’m smiling just a bit as I write about it, and that is refreshing on a morning like this. I’m hoping to get it in the near future. It’s smaller than what I’ve been used to for a long while, but I think I’m going to enjoy dancing with it.
Today kinda sucks so far, but my coffee is definitely helping. Coffee is life, and there’s no such thing as having a decent day without my two to three morning cups. Ok, fine, that is stretching the truth a bit, but coffee truly does help me have a better day. Within the first few sips of that dark caffeinated beverage I tend to feel a bit better – more alert, in a better mood – it’s awesome. Having my coffee now is helping.
Because I went to bed early last night, I figured I would be able to wake at my normal time of 6:00 AM, but that wasn’t so. I did get up to take my pills and use the restroom, but decided to go back to bed. I didn’t set another alarm because I simply needed more sleep, and I didn’t know how much. I fell into dreaming fairly quickly after flopping my head onto my pillow. I had very strange dreams that I can’t quite remember, but I know they were very uncomfortable. I woke up to one of my furry alarm clocks meowing in my face. I had slept about an hour later than usual, and apparently it was past time for me to get out of bed. It’s honestly adorable when she wakes me up. She makes me pet her until I physically get my ass up, and then she stops yelling at me. My other cat was sitting near the bed looking concerned, then darted out of the room as soon as I waddled near him. I love my cats to bits.
Here we go, second cup of coffee in hand.
After getting up, a severe headache jabbed me in the left side of my brain and throbbed for a few seconds. It’s one of those days. I sluggishly went upstairs again. I was still quite exhausted. It looks like sleep really didn’t help much again. Eh, it happens. Now that I’ve been moving around and have been drinking liquid life, I’m feeling a decent amount better. My head doesn’t hurt quite as bad. The beautiful caffeine in my cup has thankfully taken the edge off. This is great because I have things I need to accomplish today.
I have several chores that I’d rather not do today, but I’ll work on them slowly until they are at least mostly finished. I have all day and night to do what I need to do, since my husband is working a fifteen hour shift until 10:00 tonight. I’m not happy about being alone for that long. I didn’t see him before he left for work, and there is a good chance I’ll be asleep by the time he gets home tonight. It makes me sad to not get to see him at all today. Luckily he only needs to work one double shift per week now, and will most likely still be able to have two days off per week. I’m so grateful for that. He works so hard and is competent and great at his job. His bosses there love him, and that’s awesome. I’m so proud of him every day.
So I’ll take my time with getting my stuff done. I’ll probably work more on my jewelry and stuff for my Etsy shop. My husband set up a nice little jig last night to help make wire wrapping easier and more consistent. He’s so good at coming up with stuff like that. I’m wondering if I should set a rough business hours sort of a thing, and maybe set days that I will ship items. Like maybe Monday through Friday or something. Then I can have a couple of days where I don’t need to work. That might be nice. I’m also considering making a page on Facebook for my shop, but I’m on the fence about that. It would be nice to not clog up my personal profile with all of my shop stuff.
I also need to go out and buy more printer ink. I was attempting to print labels for a couple of packages last night, to be picked up today, and the damn thing ran out of ink. At least I got five of them out in the morning before the ink ran out. I’m going to drive myself. I am determined. I can drive slowly on the back roads, and I don’t need to cross much traffic if I go that way. I am sure I’ll be just fine, it’s just scary because I haven’t driven in a while. This is partly because my husband’s car broke down, and because I have been getting used to medication adjustments. You know the drill – “do not drive until you know how this medicine affects you”. I’m sure I’ll be just fine.
So far my depression isn’t horrible. I think I’m just mostly very tired, kind of derealized, and have that headache still. I think once I get moving a little more and doing some chores I’ll start waking up some more. My depression is still knocking at my door like “Hey! Let me in!”, but I don’t want to let it in – not now anyway. I’m far too tired to deal with you right now, depression, go away. I’ll deal with you later.
For now I need to start my day. Hope you all have a good one.
Stay insane, friends
I drove today 🙂 and it went well!